Wednesday, October 2, 2013

The Future...

Nate Locklear figuring out a shot on location for Once You Leave
Where am I headed?  A question that keeps swimming in my brain lately.  I first look back to where I've been.  After a semi-successful run with our web series Once You Leave it's a bit daunting to think about how to "top" that endeavor.  But maybe that's the wrong attitude to have- topping something I've already done.  Yes, I want to grow as a filmmaker and storyteller.  Yes, I want to challenge myself and accomplish new goals but trying to outdo myself seems to just be a way to let myself down or worse, hold myself back from even attempting something new. 

Throughout any given day tons of story ideas permeate my thoughts.  
But which is the right story?  How will I know it's right?  I spent over two years of my life working on Once You Leave.  A new idea might seem perfect at first but will it withstand the test of time?  What do I have to say now?

Once You Leave had much more dialog than I had ever imagined it would have.
And I thought we'd have tons of room for on set improv dialog.  But every time I sat down to write the script for each episode, dialog just poured out of me.  I somehow had so much I wanted to say.  It was hard to keep quiet.  But I didn't really know where it was all coming from.  

Lately, I have been pretty focused on life and death- what is life about and what happens to us when we die?  Or course elements of faith and a higher power trickle in but more so just a feeling of, fear...  Then you add regret, lack of hope and a general feeling of despair and you get a cocktail for some pretty dark material.  Will all these feelings add up to something substantial?  Something artistic?  Or are they just post project meanderings?  

Motivation comes and goes.  To keep busy one signs on for crew positions in various productions.  But when is the right time to begin anew?  I remain hopeful for the future but I feel some big changes are inbound.  These changes could go either way, good or bad depending on how it flips.  Until then I wait...